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The Phantom Reaper
#1
Arthur wanted to impress Jessica on their very first date. So when the waiter handed them the menu at the Indian restaurant, Arthur decided to act like an absolute alpha male.
#2
"I like danger," Arthur announced, looking deep into Jessica's eyes. "Bring me your spiciest dish: The Phantom Reaper."
#3
The waiter looked genuinely concerned. "Sir, last week that curry melted a metal spoon." Arthur laughed loudly. "Please. Spice is my middle name."
#4
Two minutes later, a steaming black bowl arrived. It wasn't just hot; it was actively bubbling like volcanic lava.
#5
Arthur took a massive spoonful... and swallowed. For two glorious seconds, nothing happened. Then, absolute chaos.
#6
Arthur's tongue evaporated. His throat felt like a flamethrower. Sweat poured down his face like twin waterfalls, and his vision turned completely pink.
#7
"Is it good?" Jessica asked innocently. "Mmm! Delightfully mild," Arthur squeaked, sounding like Mickey Mouse on helium.
#8
His brain short-circuited. In sheer panic, Arthur grabbed Jessica's iced tea and chugged it. Still burning, he grabbed the nearest little glass and drank that too. It was melted candle wax.
#9
Finally, he grabbed a bowl of white cream and rubbed it directly onto his face. The entire restaurant went dead silent.
#10
Jessica blinked, slowly put down her fork, and asked, "So... should I call you an Uber... or an exorcist?" Arthur whispered through the candle wax: "Both, please."